I finally understood the whole concept of ‘channeling one’s passion and anger into motivation’ today. Hell was I pissed off upon taking my lab midterm today and leaving with the burdenous sensation of acrimony and discouragement tugging on my heart and shoulders. It especially bothered me how I had wasted time studying in addition to the possibility of this stupid test impacting my future grade… Nevertheless, I managed to control myself–control that irritation refused to lift my head from the suffocating, drowning tendrils of water. Lifting my head up, I took a breath; I did bad, so what? There was bound to be other opportunities I could use to my advantage. It was no excuse to sit around and swallow in my crestfallen mood. I knew that fate– a good future had been laid out for me. All I needed to do to attain success was to take those steps–alternate routes that lead to it. Did I screw over? Yes, ma’am. Did I feel as if there was no point in regards to future obstacles? Yup. But I was able to control that chaotic beast within me; I told myself that even if I were to give up, what then? Ok, I’ll sit and stare into blank space pondering my rueful state of mind. But it’d only lead to further shame, so there was really no point. I realized then that I wanted a better future–and in order to do that, I had to try harder–channel that anger into inspirational motivation. I knew I could attain success only if I strived to work harder.
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