When I was a little girl, all I could dream about was getting married. And coming from a traditional Lebanese family, (pre-societal advancements), only bolstered such a dream of a Valentine. This caused me to place “Find Prince Charming”at the top of my priorities list.
Man, was I an idiot.
I grew up and realized what a stupid fantasy I had believed. Like many of us, a combination of indirect and direct negative experiences took a gradual toll on me and damaged my confidence and self-esteem, changed my perspective on life, and morphed my personality—and therefore wants and needs. I no longer trusted people. I no longer wore my heart on my sleeve. I no longer opened up about my goals, ambitions, opinions, and personal life. I no longer believed people who supposedly spoke from their souls. I no longer allowed myself to be vulnerable. I no longer believed in the pure goodness of people. And I no longer believed in myself. I became skeptical of it all. I get that not everyone is a jerk and that there’s kind people in the world. But damage like this takes time to heal from, and it began with change. My wants changed from wanting a relationship to wanting to be happy. And my needs changed from needing to love somebody to needing to love myself. The route of love was no longer a must-have option for me.
Today, I’m not the little girl I used to be. Marriage is still important to me, but it isn’t my number one priority. My number one priority right now is to become a better, and happier person by figuring out my dreams, attaining them, making myself happy, and being comfortable with who I am before pursuing a relationship. Why? One, because you’ll outgrow yourself and change; You’ll either rely on someone to make you happy, or your new persona will no longer click with the spouse your old persona fell for. And two, because the value you place within yourself is what makes you truly happy.
But that isn’t the point of this article. My intentions aren’t to complain about the things that have gone wrong in my life or criticize those who entered into a relationship when they weren’t at the best points of their lives. No. The point is to be grateful for those experiences that have allowed you to gain a better insight on what kind of qualities are essential in a healthy, and loving relationship in the future–to know what your dreams of a Valentine are.
– who never makes you question their love for you.
– who is kind.
– who is nurturing.
– who calms and excites you.
– who comforts you whenever you need it.
– who loves to keep their life adventurous and never settles for less.
– who never ignores you.
– who walks along your side through all challenges.
– who believes in you and showers you with compliments and confidence.
– who is empathetic.
-who is ambitious and has goals.
– who would never hurt you.
– who knows how to communicate like an adult.
– who is honest.
– who is sensitive and isn’t afraid to show their emotions.
– who protects you emotionally and physically.
– who is thoughtful.
– who is intelligent.
– who cares.
– who’s always there for you.
– who can sense when you’re upset without you having to say anything.
– who is giving.
– who is forgiving.
– who would do anything for you.
-who loves to make you happy without being told to do so.
– who is mature.
– who would never use your weak points against you.
– who yearns to talk to you as much as you want to talk to them.
– who never makes you doubt your trust in them.
– who wants to be near you as much you want to be near them.
– who always tries to understand you rather than criticize or belittle you.
– who values you.
– who is imaginative, creative, and fun.
– who always supports you.
– whose mentality clicks with yours.
– who’s positive as opposed to negative.
– who would never take advantage of you.
– who respects you.
– who is responsible.
– that acknowledges his faults.
– that knows how to clean up his mess.
– who knows how to cheer you up.
-who constantly tries to become a better person.
-who isn’t just all talk.
-who actively tries.
-who actually listens to what you’re saying.
-who understands what you’re saying and where you’re coming from.
– who holds you whether you’re upset or happy.
-who doesn’t give up.